​Getting up today wasn’t all that bad. I woke up thinking: “My clothes are laid out, my backpack is stuffed with everything heavy, and I’m pretty much packed and ready to go.” After I got ready, I was pushing to make sure I got everything in my bag, and the room was left in at least pretty good condition due to ordering pizza the night before. The only thing I got from being packed was a sure state of mind, and lost winter gear: my only hat, and gloves that were a gift from my boyfriend’s father. (I’m going to have to figure out a way to replace those…)

​On the way to the airport I made sure to listen to some music to mellow out so that I wouldn’t be too frazzled by the time that I got there, which worked pretty well I must say. (It always does. Music tends to be what keeps me together somehow.) This was probably a good thing because when I went through security I completely forget about some of the liquid rules for some reason. Apparently a lot of our group was having trouble during this airport encounter, and I was completely unaware of any of it because I was still mellowing out with my music. I’m glad I didn’t know about any of it too though because by the time we arrived at the plane I would not have appreciated it nearly as much as I had.

​When we arrived at the plane we needed to identify our luggage due to the technical difficulties we had with having our boarding passes and luggage barcodes being printed. However, what was so different for me personally about the plane was how small it was: it had the huge wheels on either side instead of underneath it, and in-front of both of the wings there were propellers. What made me so excited about the entire experience was actually boarding the plane because we boarded right from the ground the plane itself using the steps that come out of the plane just like the original Pan Am. (I was so excited.)

​The first look at Berlin, through the tour starting in West Berlin, it wasn’t exactly what I had imagined it to be. Then, we got into East Berlin, and it was almost exactly like I had imagined. (Except for the fact that for some reason any city I fantasize about I automatically think about it within the twenties. So, it was slightly off.)

​By the time we had actually made it into the city, and had heard a little bit about it I was thinking, “All right, we’re here, I’m tired, let’s go to the hotel.” But then we stopped at one of the memorials we had previously talked about in class. It was quite a bit of land for a city to have for a memorial, there’s square stone slabs that start out really short (maybe an inch) and gradually to the middle the slabs get taller and taller (up to ten feet tall I’d say). All of the slabs are the same size width and length ways, but there’s room where someone can walk in-between these slabs, the ground is uneven in such a way where there are hills through the walkway, and no matter where you are you can always see the light of the other side of the memorial. It’s not very hard to get out, it’s that fact of wanting to know what the artist was trying to convey.

​As you go through, and the slabs get taller and taller, you begin to feel trapped, and personally, I wanted to cry; I wanted to sit down amongst the memorial and just cry for all of those people who felt that same way: being able to see the beauty and light around them, but never really having a way out. I would have sat down if it wasn’t for the snow on the ground. Since we only had ten minutes to just basically look at the memorial, and walk through it to the bus, I didn’t really get the chance to go through all the emotion I was feeling from it. So, when I got back to the bus, I was just sitting inside looking back at the memorial still feeling trapped because I hadn’t felt as if I had gone through everything I should have to truly get the intention of the memorial. I feel like I should have gone through every emotion, and imagined everything someone would have gone through in the Holocaust. Moving through the walkway, because of the effect of the hills of uneven ground, it makes it seem as if you’re moving through time at a really fast pace, as if you’re experiencing someone’s life so quickly you don’t realize what’s happening. I didn’t even realize how I felt about it, and how I was reacting to it until I was sitting on the bus, and realizing I didn’t get the complete experience. I’m really glad to be going back for some more time so I can fully experience what I should have the first time because even now I feel like I’m still trapped within those walls.